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Literature Text
Few have heard of
Harvey Hearthoe
One hallowed
And distinct poet
But there is one song
Sad as it is bleak
Through which a number
Have come to know it
They had steered through plight and progressed
On a vessel made of time
Reaping deaths and conquests
you could scarcely call them divine
Through battles
They thrived and begot
All combatants
Defied and fought
Till, but a few
Were left alive
After such a
Cosmic onslaught
The story, the gods had feared
Had no time to be resolved
How near it was to the end
Before they could get involved
Harvey Hearthoe
One hallowed
And distinct poet
But there is one song
Sad as it is bleak
Through which a number
Have come to know it
They had steered through plight and progressed
On a vessel made of time
Reaping deaths and conquests
you could scarcely call them divine
Through battles
They thrived and begot
All combatants
Defied and fought
Till, but a few
Were left alive
After such a
Cosmic onslaught
The story, the gods had feared
Had no time to be resolved
How near it was to the end
Before they could get involved
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This is a draft of what I hope to make an epic poem. Somewhat in the spirit of Child Roland to the Dark Tower Came and other works of Robert Browning.
part 2
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part 2
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Comments4
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Hi there! I'm here on behalf of PowerfulWriting to critique your work 
My notes are mainly grammatical:
After “Harvery Hearthoe” – colon
“know it” – this would make more sense as “know him” - for this sentence to refer to people getting to know the song, the previous line would need to be altered too
"time” should have a capital T
Semi colon after “conquests”
“scarcely” doesn’t fit with the flow of the poem. I think “hardly” might be a better fit.
Perhaps remove the comma after “till”
Comma after “feared”
Semi colon after “resolved”
Perhaps have a play about with the line breaks – do you read your poetry out loud? I find that helps to work out where more natural line breaks could occur. A more regular structure would add impact to the style you're going for. Also, punctuation at the end of lines would really help the flow of the piece, too. I understand that’s an artistic choice a lot of the time not to punctuate at the end of lines, though.
Hopefully this is of some use 
My notes are mainly grammatical:
After “Harvery Hearthoe” – colon “know it” – this would make more sense as “know him” - for this sentence to refer to people getting to know the song, the previous line would need to be altered too "time” should have a capital T Semi colon after “conquests” “scarcely” doesn’t fit with the flow of the poem. I think “hardly” might be a better fit. Perhaps remove the comma after “till” Comma after “feared” Semi colon after “resolved” Perhaps have a play about with the line breaks – do you read your poetry out loud? I find that helps to work out where more natural line breaks could occur. A more regular structure would add impact to the style you're going for. Also, punctuation at the end of lines would really help the flow of the piece, too. I understand that’s an artistic choice a lot of the time not to punctuate at the end of lines, though.Hopefully this is of some use