RUMINATION #12: OUT OF ORDER (2/4)

Neither of the two frogs in the back could close it so it was decided that the back door was left open for the duration of the trip. There was

only a light draft; right off the bat he assumed someone would be sucked out screaming to his doom. There were nets on the walls on

which to hold steady. The only sound was the droning of the micro-peller.

Rupert was focused on peddling, in his own little world and everyone else were standing in the same way they were in the park, before it

had gone mental “Why’s it called a gyrocopter, anyway” The lanky one asked thickly in a weak attempt of drawing conversation “Is it some

kind of flying sandwich?” Bob supplemented a better question.

“Whats happening?” Earp had an idea, but Chief Pepperoni had gained the floor

“The Singularity Projectors have shut down,” Bob heard the words but they were not understood  “Binoculars stuck up on a poll,”

“The D.I.P did little to disguise them," Olives exhaled with a grin "They can fold anything like sheets of paper.

"Even solar-nuclear bombs," added Chief Pepperoni "That's what we use to propel our boats through space.”

The word folding reminded Rex of something “Duckered said earlier that outer space was shrinking?”

“Yah, I heard rumors about that,” The Emissary interest kindled swiftly, “The Masters needed a way of bring’n the planets closer

‘cause rockets were too freak’n expensive. ‘Riginally they just armed a few satellites, n’tol em go blow things us. Then they'd rely on

the excess gravity to rearrange the cosmos . It didn't worked out the way they hoped. So the Masters returned to an old idea.

Some’tin called a warp drive. It warp just ‘bout anything as it turns out, planets, moons, stars. There was already a lot o’collateral. I

heard that on its first test the machine sandwiched two gas giants together."

"Yeah," Bacon snapped his fingers "Didn't the Masters combine the names. You-bit-her and your-a-nuss made your-a-puss.”

Bob squinted “That doesn’t quiet fit. They sound more obscene together then they do apart."  

“We don’t have time for a chit chat,” the voice snapped “We need to focus.”

“Your tense, ”Atomic, the stupid robot, beamed at the ceiling “Y’know what you need?”

“To go to a mental institution?” sighed the Anchovy.

“A teddy,” it wrapped its arms of death around itself, tightening with a squink.

“I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE! YOUER ALL DRIVING ME BONKERS!”

“You need help that’s for sure,” said the bleakly dressed person with the rings in his face.

“Listen’re we gon to yell a t’each ud’er or are we gon ta shoot dose f’rugs ta bits!!” said Gianni shaking his fist in the air. “Fer de radio!!”

“And the anchovy,” Chief Pepperoni mirrored his enthusiasm.

“La acciuga!!!” Gianni shouted with gusto “Whats tat got ta do wid it?”

“You can’t shout my name when you’re shot to SMITHEREINES!!”

“Why are you so pessimistic?” asked Bob.

“WHY AM I PESSIMISTIC? I’LL TELL YOU WHY, BECAUSE WE’RE GOING TO GET BLOWN UP!!! THAT’S WHY!”

“I see the ship in the distance,” Rupert called out, the viewing goggles on his face. Suddenly they didn’t feel so tough. Dances with Olives

slid the guitar strap off his shoulders; found his lyre. The otter found a way to pluck the strings. Earp heard it play in his ears. Something

shuffled in of his head, thing’s seemed less scary “What’s that tune?”

“My first trip into the house of Za. I didn’t like it. The temple tried to look like it was underwater.” Olives kept playing, but at a lower

volume. The otter seemed compelled to elaborate, “The Cods stood out in the two dimensional picture of the ocean.” Picturing it, Earp was

appalled by the details “I remember not being sold on the religion but it was my faith in the music. I heard this tune and I learned it from

the chorus leader.”

“So, you were a choir boy?” Rupert surmised, “What’re you do’n here?”  

“I was drafted,” the otter exhaled the word “There a faction that sympathized with Chief Pepperoni. They spun his leaving Saturn into a

crusade for enlightenment. They didn’t want him going alone; they needed a scribe to document his search for Cod.”

“N’the others?”

“It’s funny,” the otter tittered at Rupert’s question “I’m known as the ‘Innocent one. Brother Bacon chose this over serving a year sentence

and Parmesan thought it might cure him of his emotional troubles.” Dances with Olives retracted his attention, giving it back in full to the

playing of his instrument. Earp panned from the otter, his weary, wounded friends, to those all around. The group gave into the rhythms.

Gianni suddenly remembered where he was and shouted to the crew: “Man battle stations!”

“You’re the one by the guns,” barked the shepherded dog, trying to gain some room, smothered between Bob and the Emissary “You do

what you want with them!” with a small hitch Gianni took hold one of the twin gunstocks located in the sockets. Gianni hastily loaded the

barrels one at a time with the elongated shells on the rack in the wall. static bristled from somewhere. Finding the source to be inside of a

dark square box with round vent and a button on the front. Earp saw the  King Hherp rear into view “There’s another gyro honing in

behind us! Stay close to the wall!”  

“Ghurp gubbl gurp uhgp-”

Gianni thumbed the button, the static ceased “I t’ink it’s a trans’midder!”

“Gianni…” the shepherded dog froze, “Get your thumb off, they can hear us!”

The rodent cursed and lifted his finger “-I wan’tid de ore’inge guy ta ansah.”

“What does that mean-what’re we do?” the fat one blubbered, repeating it over and over.

The voice continued to blubber in the transmitter “Don’wury, it may not av’unstood me.”

The black box was silent and the gyrocopter gave no hint as what it was going to do next.  

“We could get behind it, if you want?” Rupert gave a general proposition; blind as far as to see anyone inside the cabin. Gianni stalled,

pacing bit of room that he had to walk in.

“No. It giv’s us n‘ee t’rubble we’ll hid’it wid deh sh’older can’n.” Earp stood next to Atomic, saw the tube and took it from the robots

hands when it wasn’t looking.

“Bacon, Parmesan, the rockets for are in the bag by your feet.”  

The muscular otter caught the weapon, taking both while edging slowly to the platform.

“We should just land and have the naked dude infiltrate the ship, detonate those bombs the Chief was talking about, I mean they got to

have ‘em if they want to get around.”

“We’re naht blowing’t up,” Gianni’s voice rose “Deh fallout ‘lone wooh’d kill every ‘ting bee-lo,” the Emissary raised his shoulders and said

a few words for his foul idea. “W’hen we go in, we fine’de officers. Trubble starts, d’are shrr tah be hel’dup som’ware, we fine’dem eh’n

mur’der as many s’we ken, tit’s ‘ike me daddy toll’me. Ta en’eh war don get deh solders, get deh ones gidding dih ore’ders.” It seemed

that Mr. Gianni was just full helpfully bright phrases. They very well might have been jokes, if so, the Guinea was the only one who thought

they were funny “Ev’ah kil’any body hoz’pet?” the round one hesitated to answer, slowly gathering his words:  

“I have but I never took to the habit.”

“That’s a gooh’d uhn, yoh’ve lurn’d a thin r’two,” Gianni stifled his laughter. Earp saw into the eyes of the tree climber, saw the innocence

dwindling there. How do people allow themselves to be pulled into complex situation? Was it because people could not think for

themselves? They lacked any kind of personality, were so fatalistic that they would walk into their own deaths? Rupert volunteered,

enlisting Croak and himself as well. Rupert has spoke for him for so long, the little frog felt that he had no reason for being around at all.

Falling in with the same group of fools just as he did before. The side of the behemoth was monster of rock and metal. Triple-decker

volley guns rolled into view; tiny solders ran out on the catwalks, maneuvering their defenses from left to right. Earp could not determine

how many barrels sat in one row. He didn’t want to think about it but should there ten to each deck, making thirty barrel’s to each turret.

That times the amount of turrets on the broadside of the ship-he became too frightened to finish the computation. “Dey aim’n at us?”

Gianni shouted. The dog watched the cannons nonchalantly, beginning to smile he said “Yah, pretty much.” The Guinea ignored the

monochromatic shepherded “Giht red’ee wid’at can’n Pam-ih-zahn!” The otters gave a reassuring nod, waiting near the door. The micro-

peller whirred, it would be the last time it filled the silence “FIRE!” their boat was hit with piercing rain. Parmesan could not step outside,

screaming for everyone to duck. Arrows fashioned out of cold steel, lengthy and sharp, reduced the perimeter of the entrance into a

mouth with prickly teeth. The enemy had not warned the other gyrocopter, the bolts pinged off the hull. The cannons in its eyes extended

and became fully armed. Much in the way a fly had spotted eyes, it had multiple barrels of different lengths. Parmesan angled the tube out

the entrance, a fountain of smoke exploded inside the cabin. There was a twist of metal followed by a flash the second after. Earp guessed

the rocket had made a direct hit and the gyrocopter had spiraled in the other direction.

“Rupert, get us out of range!” The Anchovy commanded. The scenery dipped into an angle, the gunmen racing to aim the their cannons

high to fire after them. While Rupert increased the speed, the broadside became less of metal and more of rock. Brother Bacon carefully

climbed down to the back door “Now their out of range of us!” he shouted. The walls began to rattle, as if something took it in its hand

and violently shook it. The flying machine hitched and everyone on Earp’s side were thrown forward against the pipe surrounding the pilot

seat. “-Loop back and try to get lower. As for everyone else, you’ll need to rotate the rail to get the boat to turn so the cannons will

be facing the troops,” the Great Anchovy sprucely articulated. Earp heard Parmesan cry out. It seemed is if he had fallen off. “BACON-

What’re you doing!” but suddenly it became quiet clear what was happening. The fat one pointed and exclaimed “Oh, no he’s got the cute

one!” Bacon had hauled Dances with Olives by the belt and thrown him out the exit. “Forget this, an enemy I can reach is one I can fight.”

“Well, volunteer yourself,” went the voice “Don’t just start giving everyone the boot!”

“This boat is doomed,” stepping out to the edge “I’ve got to look out for my brothers.”

“Brother Bacon,” the Chief reached out desperately “There’s no turning back from this.”

“I’ll see you in Mo’, Pepperoni!” Brother Bacon took his blade and stripped the net from the nearest wall and leapt backwards. This was

more than what he did for the others. Earp was left to assume they landed on some unsuspecting bullfrogs. Things appeared darker

around the senior otter while more arrows were pounding the base of the gyrocopter.  

“Well?” the Anchovy grabbed their attention “Turn the rail-damn you! It’s the last stink’n act of your lives, so you better mean it!” Gianni

began laughing so hard he nearly fainted “Yah-Griff, yeh tell’em! HEHAHAHA!”

“Rex, I’m scared.”

“Don’t worry, Bob, it’ll be alright.”

Gianni took the grip of the gun and peeped through the scope “Shoo me doh’s pigions, c’mon!” the weapon kicked when Gianni pulled

back the trigger “Mwahua-I see yeh’limp’n!” it jerked again “Tat’ll teech yeh ta forgeh me! Di’s for my bar-yeh bunch ah cry babies!”  

“Quit it, G!” the Emissary stressed, while still mellow “You’ll waist ah’ll the shells!” the cannon didn't produce anything but a clicking noise.


“Wat’dis-where deh bihd guys?” the ship lurched and Gianni fell on the other gun.

“I feel like I’m in the Mystic Kettle Ride!” Bob cheered as if it were the first time today.

“You’re spinning us to fast!” Rupert didn’t flinch “-Lose’n control!” continued peddling.  

“Dat w’on low’ded?” Gianni said, the Chief was importing the last one in the breach.

“No! Not you cowboy!” the Anchovy cut the gangster in half “No more cannon for you!”

There was a large bang; loud enough to be heard within the boat. Earp was convinced it

was artillery shell via wheel-a-pult.  The cabin had become the inside of a salad spinner.

Everyone bouncing about as if they were croutons “WWWHHHOOOOHHHOOOoooooo!!!”

Croak fell on Earp and the shepherded dog, the Guinea and Chief Pepperoni stacked on top of the housept and the Emissary

“Wwwhheeeeee!!!” Atomic rolled along them all together. “Guys, I’m sorry-I’m so sorry!” Rupert cried out a thousand pardons. Earp didn’t

know where they were falling; piled up they halted the gyro from spinning but also contributed to its weight. They were falling faster.

“When does it stop?” Bob screamed on top of his lungs “RIDE OVER, RIDE-AHF!” The boat took to the bottom the way a hammer does an

anvil. The gyrocopter had been ripped in half. Earp was still breathing, barely. Lying in a moaning heap. Some half-conscious and some

were moving. “Can you move?” he heard Croaks voice “Nice and easy, take it slow.” Blurry vision subsided. Croak was helping the pilot up

from the chair. “I thought I could do it,” Rupert carefully put one foot in front of the other. “Gah-” the frog wilted “My leg hurts!” the

shepherded was dragging his body across the rock floor “You’ve got nothing to complain about,” prowling as if he were a tiger with ruby

stripes “I’m hurt’n all over.” Found a piece of scrap that Gianni happened to be sitting on, and pushed himself up. The guinea held a a

stained handkerchief to his head wound “Everyone accounted for?” Earp sang in chorus to a unanimous groan. Bob was pushing out his

back with one hand; he other looed ready to swing in Gianni’s direction “Does anyone know where we are?”  

“Ry’t now we’re noh ware,” said The Guinea, “Crash’t un top deh ship. We dih’d good doh, pass’t fay’z one wid no losses.”

The fat one muttered to Rex “Could we just-pummel him once?”  

“Not now, wait till his back is turned,” the dog said huskily.